Every optometrist who ever dreamed of owning an optometry practice and then made that dream come true knows the importance of setting goals. Goals have played a huge part in your professional success. As with all good things, though, focusing on goals too much can be a detriment and cause life to get out of balance.
In his book The Confidence Gap, leading psychologist Russ Harris says goals are great and should be a part of our life, but when focused on solely they keep us from experiencing life in the moment. In contrast, focusing on values allows us appreciate the process. As optometrists, we can find success in the routine of clinic and daily repetitions without burning on both ends striving towards goals. In the story that follows from the previously mentioned book, who do you relate with?
A TALE OF TWO MOUNTAIN CLIMBERSHank and Jake are both passionate mountain climbers, both equally skilled. But they have very different attitudes to climbing. Hank is totally goal focused. All that matters to him is reaching the top of the mountain in the shortest possible time. Every step of the way, all he cares about is reaching the summit. He is so intent on getting to the top, he can hardly bear to stop and take a rest. And when he does force himself to take a break, all he can think about is that ticking clock, and how much farther there is still to go. As he climbs, there is little joy or satisfaction in the process; he is constantly pressuring himself to get to the top, all too aware that he’s still not there. When he finally reaches the summit, he is delighted. He has done it. Woohoo! A moment of crowning glory. For one brief instant, while he takes in the view, the pressure is off. But it doesn’t last long. The moment he sets off back down, once again his goal dominates all else: all that matters is to get there as fast as possible. In stark contrast, Jake’s approach to climbing the mountain is values focused. He has the same goal as Hank: to reach the peak in a good time. However, he is much more in touch with the values underlying his goal: developing his skills, appreciating nature, acting courageously, challenging himself, exercising his body, exploring and adventuring. As he climbs, he savors every moment of the ascent. He is not constantly thinking about the summit and pressuring himself to get there; he is living in the present moment, totally engaged in what he is doing. Regardless of where he is on the mountain—bottom, middle, or top—he is mindfully acting on his values. When he stops for a rest, he takes in the view and appreciates how far he has come. When he reaches the top, he is exhilarated; the view is breathtaking. And whether he is going upward or back down, he savors every bit of the journey. Now, suppose the weather turns nasty, and they can’t make it to the top of the mountain; they have to turn back. Both climbers are disappointed: they failed to achieve their goal. But Jake handles it much better than Hank. Why? Because Jake has found the climb fulfilling in itself: he got to develop and apply his skills, to explore and be adventurous, to challenge himself and to appreciate nature. So even though it didn’t turn out the way he wished, Jake regards it as a successful and rewarding outing. Hank, in contrast, is eaten up with disappointment and regards the outing as a failure. Why? Because he didn’t achieve his goal. All he can think about is when he can come back and try again. This is the difference between the values-focused life and the goal-focused life. Jake gets to achieve his goals and appreciate every step along the way. And even if he doesn’t achieve his goals, he still gets huge satisfaction from living by his values. By contrast, Hank lives in a state of self-imposed pressure and chronic frustration. It’s all about the goals—and there’s no satisfaction unless he achieves them. And even if he does achieve those goals, he experiences only a brief moment of joy and then it’s back to the pressure and frustration. For sure, some people do manage to achieve a lot with this extreme focus on goals—but the costs are usually huge in terms of stress, dissatisfaction, and ultimately psychological burnout or physical ill health. Values are wonderful things.
Define your values and find fulfillment in living those values.
Reference: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt by Russ Harris
